Real friends will tell you to ‘shut the fuck up’ to your face and they’ll say nice things about you behind your back.

Dumbass cancer has got me thinking about the old days.

Not the time before electricity – the time before responsibility.

I’m fortunate to still have friends from those days. We don’t see each other often but we stay in touch.

Jasmine and I were on an academic par, every lesson together, including trampolining.

We weren’t VERY naughty as we didn’t consider embezzled goods from our parents i.e. cigarettes and alcohol a crime.

There was a situation in class once. Vexed with our dickhead wankface teacher I wrote and illustrated explicit profanities regarding his wankiness on a netball.

Jas thought it an idea to roll said ball to front of class where it settled between teacher’s legs.

I was henceforth suspended for one week.

My other friends were, and still are, Lysette and Katarina.

We did some fucked up shit! We didn’t get busted because there was no internet, cell phones, GPS or police drones.

We didnt just share sexy clothing, we shared sexy boys too. And there were plenty of both in our adolescent flooziness.

One time Kat was banned from seeing me when Daddy found her diary and baby-proofing pills hidden in a dolls house in her bedroom.

He told her she could have a new pony if she did as she was told. She picked the pony, I would have done same!

But we still snuck out together and horsed around.

Lysette and I were the worst combo. I can’t divulge 95% of our waggishness. But we got away with most of it.

One time we were caught redhanded with a couple of ‘battery bananas’ we’d found – and decided to race them across the top of a wardrobe to see which one would topple first.

Back in the 70’s The Rampant Rabbit hadn’t been invented and you couldn’t fob a sex toy off as a neck massager.

This incident had a lasting effect because Lys grew up and became a sex therapist.

And still to this day she’s enlightening men on how to finger their wives.

Kat followed her dream too. She married a retired show-jumper who it turned out, enjoyed riding anything with a pulse.

Jas took the stage, but after being lured to a saggy director’s couch one time she packed it in, went back to school and became an attorney… She’s been invaluable over the years. 9 divorces between us has kept her busy.

My surgeon said I might lose some long term memory. But no, it’s still fully intact for now.

And if I do lose it, one of these 3 beauties will be there to remind me of the time we drank Shroom Smoothies whilst enjoying a group bath and washing each other’s hair with yellow finger paints.

Fungi with fun guys.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Real friends will tell you to ‘shut the fuck up’ to your face and they’ll say nice things about you behind your back.

  1. Scarer Keep on keeping on. Seems like you’re still kicking butt, good for you. We are here in the weird world of nothing much happening, but we think of you more than often. Tetbury is the same…. waiting for you to come the fuck back. When you get back here we’d love to buy you a drink of fizz. See soon chinka linka. XxxxxxxxJo x

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s