“Not tonight darling, I’ve got a brain tumour.”

Having a brain tumour can be a great excuse to get out of doing all kinds of things…

And give you time to think about what’s important right now.

So subsequently I’ve finally made the big decision.

I’ve decided on who I’d like to evicit Bambi. Dr. Tall Dark & Handsome .. obvs. He even gave me a choice of hospital. University Medical Research Centre or Swanky Shiny 5* Lux. If you know me well enough you’ll know which one I picked.

What really tipped the balance was his gorgeous assistant. OMG I am in bloody love with her. The most fabulously efficient woman I’ve ever met. She even answers texts from distressed patients (me) at 7pm on a Saturday night.

We’ve moved the surgery up to Tuesday 5th March at 12pm EST. This seems to be a more auspicious day. And you know how I know this..

Astronomy … no astrology (I always get the two confused).

I asked a very gifted astrologer to shuffle some cards and run some numbers … and please… before you judge me on this .. make sure that you’re pretty bloody perfect and have all the answers.

This is what she said:

“The 5th is coming up as a good day for the surgeon.

Whatever is going on is something they’ve never encountered before or don’t know much about.

Finding answers will allay everyone’s fears, and I see you needing lots of rest but bouncing back.”

Yay well that sounds like good news all round. Apart from the bit about “never encountered before”. Maybe it’s a giant pea or a huge nut (pea-brain/nut-job.. get it?).

Anyway whatever Bambi’s genetic make-up is we’ll find out soon enough.

And in the meantime, I’m going to exploit her existence to get out of doing all the things I don’t feel like doing.

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