This isn’t Pride and Prejudice and you’re not having a ‘funny turn’. This is General Hospital and you’re having a god damn seizure!

So after 6 hours hooked up to the EEG and not a ‘funny turn’ in sight – typical! They unplugged me and came in with the results. “We found a couple of blips on the readings” they said. This all sounded very technical and we asked them to explain further. “You need an MRI” they said. “OK can I get that right now as I have a plane to catch?” I replied. “Um no – you’re not going anywhere today” was their answer. Hmm, right then I’ll move my flight to tomorrow – I wasn’t giving in easily.

It was then explained that I might have developed epilepsy. “FUCK” was my first thought on that diagnosis. But there was also a chance I could have a brain tumour, double “FUCK” for that one – and if I did then the MRI would tell us. “These seizures are being caused by something” I was told. I didn’t really need a doctor to tell me this, even though I’m not medically trained I’d kind of guessed this bit myself.

After some brown supper (at 4.45pm!) I was told that the MRI wasn’t going to happen until the next day so I should relax and make myself comfortable. I reminded them that I had a flight to catch the next day and I’m pretty sure at that point I spotted some eye rolling.

I took a shower – with the nurse in attendance while we discussed the benefits of massaging body oil into damp skin – and got back into bed to wait until morning.

Pride & Prejudice

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